My friend is in a long distance relationship, and the first thing I told him:
"it's not gonna work".
Long distance doesn't work.
And he told me:
"I know the odds is against me... but I love with my heart, not with my brain".
That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, and stupid, and sweet... LOL
I always say Love makes people stupid, it lowers IQ. Turns out, love doesn't require IQ, no wonder it's stupid.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
It's been that long...
The last post I put up was back in March, right before I found my current job. Much has changed since then, I moved to San Francisco, live in a dump of a place, worked 12 hours everyday plus weekends... I haven't draw anything worth mentioning for...damn...8 months... I actually enjoy my work, or I wouldn't put that much into it.
I wasn't a good artist, never was, never will be. I'm content with it. I wasn't really good with writing either, Chinese maybe, English... too much grammar issue. Another thing is, well, there's no inspiration. I don't feel the drive the paint of write anything. I remember when I used to feel the force that drives me to create something. Well, none of those had happened for sometime.
All of these put together, I have 8 months of creativity blank.
Am I really a creative person? I feel that everything I know about myself is not accurate. I thought I'm an artist, but I seem can't wait to escape to management. I don't really feel "unhappy" that I don't get to paint. I don't have the drive to paint or create. Maybe I'm wrong about myself all alone. I'm not sure about my personal life either, I feel almost obligated to find or at least try to find a boyfriend of some sort. But deep down, I know I don't really want to get involved with anyone. I don't believe in love or human emotion that last longer than some brain chemical reaction. I don't believe I'm capable of having a relationship.
People have midlife crisis, I have mid 20 crisis and late 20 crisis and seems I just never quite figure out who I am and what I'm supposed to do with my life. Maybe this is life supposed to be, you keep searching and searching... and it's the journey that matters, not the destination.
I wasn't a good artist, never was, never will be. I'm content with it. I wasn't really good with writing either, Chinese maybe, English... too much grammar issue. Another thing is, well, there's no inspiration. I don't feel the drive the paint of write anything. I remember when I used to feel the force that drives me to create something. Well, none of those had happened for sometime.
All of these put together, I have 8 months of creativity blank.
Am I really a creative person? I feel that everything I know about myself is not accurate. I thought I'm an artist, but I seem can't wait to escape to management. I don't really feel "unhappy" that I don't get to paint. I don't have the drive to paint or create. Maybe I'm wrong about myself all alone. I'm not sure about my personal life either, I feel almost obligated to find or at least try to find a boyfriend of some sort. But deep down, I know I don't really want to get involved with anyone. I don't believe in love or human emotion that last longer than some brain chemical reaction. I don't believe I'm capable of having a relationship.
People have midlife crisis, I have mid 20 crisis and late 20 crisis and seems I just never quite figure out who I am and what I'm supposed to do with my life. Maybe this is life supposed to be, you keep searching and searching... and it's the journey that matters, not the destination.
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